These Four Books Changed Everything I Thought I Knew About Life
Hey you! So these books are for anyone who’s ever wondered if their habits are running the show more than they’d like.
It’s the story about how I found my way out of addiction, and the four books that helped me understand exactly how unhelpful habits of all kinds happen.
Six years ago, on March 31 2020, at the height of lockdown, I checked into a rehab called Sanctuary Lodge in Essex suffering from a nervous breakdown and addiction. Naturally shy and a bit awkward, I’d always wanted to fit in, belong, and be fabulous.
The party times worked, until they didn’t.
I thought rehab would be like a spa. Nope! My room overlooked a car park and a make-shift mortuary for victims of Covid.
After rehab I planned a glamorous return to my former life fully rebranded as one of those glowy people whose secrets you’re dying to know. Nope!
Because, turns out, getting better means working out what’s really going on - and that’s when the fun begins.
My biggest takeaway?
Addiction isn’t the cause of all problems.
It’s often a symptom.
Of being a human alive now, of trying to find our way in a world that rarely asks us to slow down, and of our constant need for more.
Even if we don’t really know why we want it.
Four Books that Changed Everything
Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke
Psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke explains how the wanting neurotransmitter dopamine works in the body, and how, when it gets out of whack, it creates the see-saw of addiction.
It features cute - and strangely helpful - illustrations of gremlins and see-saws, and some eye-watering case studies. All I can say is “sex addict and record player.”
Dr. Lembke also talks about the everyday addictions we often don't realise we have. By the end of it, I not only understood the brain chemistry of addiction, I knew exactly how and why I ended up in rehab.
Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke
Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
This book unpacks the tyranny of the attention economy - how it was built, and why it’s so damn addictive.
Did you know Instagram was developed out of Stanford’s Persuasive Technology Lab, and designed quite deliberately to hijack our brains?
To read this is to feel the creeping realisation of just how much of our precious time and attention we unthinkingly handed over to Big Tech and the relentless news cycle.
And, just as scary, how much cash I’d poured into the fashion, beauty and wellness industries as payment for their relentless promise of self-improvement.
Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
Dr. Maté is the don when it comes to explaining why we are the way we are, and this book with its subhead of “Close Encounters with Addiction” goes deep into his years working with severe addicts in Vancouver.
The beautiful - and most freeing - thing Maté reveals in this book is that addiction is not something to be ashamed of; rather it’s often a response to trauma and pain, a way to soothe inner brokenness.
The lesson that landed most with me is that the answer is not to shun addicts, but to connect with them, and help heal their pain. Turns out, the opposite of addiction is connection.
Maté’s book also taught me about the ACE Score, or “Adverse Childhood Experiences” test, and how a high ACE score can be a predictor of future addiction. Do it for yourself to see where you are, its easy to find on search.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
Ask and it Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
If you want to feel more positive and joyful, but don’t have a clue where to begin, this book could be the answer. It was for me.
The authors Esther and Jerry Hicks channel a spirit guide called Abraham, who they say is the true author of the books. Granted, that’s quite a concept to get your head around, but once you do, the book becomes something else entirely.
It’s a wise, enlightening and surprisingly practical, step-by-step guide to how to feel true happiness and wellbeing from the inside out.
It’s full of inspiring mindset-shifting techniques that I return to time and again. No book on my shelf has been more underlined, scribbled in and dog-eared.
If you have a noisy head, suffer with low self-esteem, or are simply looking for a way to lift your energy to a higher vibration, this book helps.
Like, a lot.
Ask and it Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks